


The Scene Shifts

by Dr_Psyche



Category: Homestuck, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-30
Updated: 2014-02-24
Packaged: 2017-12-28 02:12:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/986450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dr_Psyche/pseuds/Dr_Psyche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With the death of the guardians, Bro, Dad, Grandpa, Mom, and Nanna all find themselves in limbo. A curious Troll appears to show them to their final rest. They all witness their lives and realize they must move on, some more quietly than others.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Be the Elder Sibling

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [BB: please you know gainax has a special place in the strider household](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/28132) by ==> ASK AN ASSHOLE. 



"Who do you think we are?" Shouts the character on the television.

It's the Strider household, undergoing their proud family tradition "Tengan Toppa Gurren Lagann"

A young man reclines on his couch, his brother next to him, and an odd orange puppet propped up on the couch end.

Both he and his brother wear a pair of pointy sunglasses, similar to the hero on the television in front of them.

The table between them and the television contains a few glass bottles of Apple-Juice and a box of Pizza Hut Pizza, which the two are currently eating.

They get to the episode where Kamina, the wearer of their pointy shades has had his chest pierced and he lays dying.

"this is the scene that makes you cry, eh bro?" The younger Strider, Dave says.

The older Strider, face stoic as ever says, "Sure thing little man, behind my awesome eye-wear is two long streams of liquid black sorrow, all over Kamina."

"is that why we wear these things?" Dave asked indicating their shades.

"Nah bro, it's out of respect for Mama Bravo, the woman has to deal with Johnny everyday, so she's the ultimate badass," Bro says.

"true that," Dave says.

"Alright, it's time to go to bed," Bro said

The episode had just ended.

"we gonna watch one more?" Dave asked.

"No, you've got school tomorrow," Bro said.

In spite of this, the two continued to sit and watch the next episode.

"And, Little Bro went to bed, I tucked Cal in, and then I was out like a light," Bro said aloud.

The room shifted, the food and Dave disappeared, Bro remains alone, the TV off, the box-set of Gurren Lagan sitting in front of him on the table. He has his hands folded, leaning his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped in front of his mouth. He'd assume this position, and position the light at just the right angle to make it reflect of his shades in a sinister way.

"This was my truly ironic impersonation of Gendo Ikari I knew it made Dave squirm, especially that time I rigged Dave's computer to show a giant naked picture of Rei with her brain half exposed. Good times," Bro said aloud again, "I was big into Anime back then, Gurren Lagan, FLCL, and the rest will always have a place in Casa de Strider."

"This was the time I asked if he wanted to do our family tradition again, and shoot through some old DVDs, like when he was younger," Bro sighed, and leaned back on the couch, "He said 'nah,' I guess he's not into this stuff anymore."

Bro smirked, "He probably out grew this stuff, way before his big bro ever could, you think?"

He turned his head to his guest, sitting off in the corner of the room, figure in shadow.

The guest only nodded.

The room shifts again, to the time where he had ambushed Dave when he came home from school by sending a flurry of smuppets at him. Dave deflected three, before the soft puppet ass overwhelmed him. A scene played out where Dave challenged him to a rap battle which they both treated seriously to the point of keeping neutral faces and saying "that's cool," the nonchalance attempting to convey their irony. Dave was utterly dominated by the battle, and the slight twitches of his mouth could show the frustration well enough in the aftermath.

"Poor Dave, always doomed to be in his big bro's shadow," he said.

The room shifts again, this time, they are in the medium. The figure stands, allowing the chair behind her to vanish. Minions swarm around Bro, and he effortlessly runs through them, slicing and cutting at every opportunity, until they're all just grist and other raw materials.

"Damn, I really am that good aren't I?" Bro asked, the statement itself was an insincere display of self-confidence not meant to be taken seriously or at face value, but really to convey his level head in the situation, a true use of Strider brand irony.

The scene changes once again. Strider the younger is an orange part person-bird creature, and his Bro fights a black carapacian with wings, a single arm and a saber.

The battle is going well, Strider the senior tangles his puppet in Jack's wings, while Strider the junior stab shim through the back. This allows his older brother to flash step in, remove Cal and kick Jack in the face.

Bro and his guest watch the scene from the background.

"Ah this, my greatest triumph, the ultimate display of my badassery is about to come up. For truly it's an epic conclusion that will leave you stunned," he said to the guest.

Jack began changing, his body glowed green, his wings morphed, and his head became canine like.

He was more powerful now, easily able to elude the two Striders, he teleported behind Davesprite and brought his sword down, cleaving off his wing.

The orange bird-man-sprite let out an agonized scream, and soon his brother was beside him, landing several blows on Jack, all of which did nothing.

Davesprite and Bro flanked Jack, who sliced Davesprite in the stomach, and smacked Bro with a flashing green wing.

Bro went flying, his sword flying in the air.

Jack grabbed it and hurled it; spear like at Bro's form as he hit the ground. The sword pierced his chest, impaling him, and killing him.

The alternate-ghost(?) brother stared in shock at his guardian's death. His own severed medallion lying near his brother's form, slowly accumulating blood.

"Bro?" Davesprite asked.

"Gaze in wonder, ghost-bird-bro, the conclusion in all of the epicness it has thus acquired," Bro said

Jack turned to him, but Davesprite had already absconded through the green fire. Jack didn't care, he had better things to do.

"AW, no, no!" Bro yelled, "That doggy bastard's taking my shades? My rad, rad shades, why?!"

Jack flew away, taking Cal with him.

"He took Cal too, this guy really knows how to stick it to a corpse doesn't he?"

The two stood there, no one but Bro's corpse remained on the battlefield, as the fire erupted all around them.

"Well, shit, I'm dead, what now?" he asked his guest.

He turned to the green robed woman, she had grey skin and two horns atop her head. His guest finally spoke.

"Your story has ended, and I am sorry for it. You were just a supporting player in the grand scheme of things, but your brother will continue on in your place,"

"Show me," Bro said, his expression unreadable.

The scene changes once again, they are in the same place, but the fire is out, and Dave stands above his brother's corpse.

After failing to break his sword, Dave now lies face first in the dirt.

"Haha, unbreakable sword is as much of a bitch as ever it seems," Bro says, a small smile on his face.

He sighs and walks over to his brother, he puts a hand on Dave's shoulder, which he cannot feel.

"john's a hero, my bro was, i'm not," Dave said.

"Kid, I don't know about your nerdy friend, but you're not the one lying here with his sword through him like a motherfucker," Bro said, "So… don't sell yourself short,"

Bro sighed, his face conveying one of the few emotions he hadn't faked for an ironic effect.

"Get going little man, the universe needs you, not some dead guy. Give 'em hell,"

The scene fades away. Bro makes a request to check on the alternate version of his brother.

He witness's Davesprite cover his wounds with bandages, trying to keep the orange blood inside of himself. Two streaks of orang escape from under his glasses, and Bro asks to go now, confident that the weird alternate Dave is safe.

"Right, so what happened after that?" Bro asked the woman.

"Far too many things to show you, but I will take you to see your brother as he is now,"

The area around them changes, the colors swirl and morph. Bro could compare it to a painting, a Van Gogh, or something artsy like that, but no, he compares it to the spin art kit he once got Dave when he was a lot younger (wouldn't be the first spin device they'd get into).

They are now in a room, a few books, computers, and other pieces of machinery line the area. Dave sits at a table, papers and pencils surround him. He's got a pair of Headphones on, and he's humming the beat to himself as they're hooked up to the computer. He's writing lyrics down, trying to match the beats to the words.

Bro stands in the background, with the woman, looking on.

"Those red PJ's have to be the sickest thing little bro's ever had in his wardrobe," Bro says in a monotone that makes his level of sincerity hard to judge.

He looks over his younger Brother's shoulder at the paper, numerous lines and words have been rewritten there are scratched out words everywhere, and there appears to be a phallic shape crudely drawn at the bottom.

Dave was talking to himself; a habit that had not gone unnoticed when they'd lived together.

"maybe putting orange in there's the truest way to master rhymes. rhyming the unrhymable, frikkin genius,"

Bro noticed the lyrics incorporating Obama.

"Atta boy Dave, don't stop the destruction of pop-culture stop you from making pop-culture references," Bro said, "Those beats look ill, they're sicker than Europe during the black plague. They're bring-out-your-sick-dead-and-avoid-their-boils-and -shit ill, that's how ill they've gotten."

Bro smiled, "Dave's going to be all right, aint he?"

"He and his friends have found a good measure of success in their endeavors to beat the game," the woman said, "They have escaped, but they will be here for about three years."

"Damn, if it were me, I'd go total crazy, talk to myself everyday," he said.

"We'll be leaving soon, is there anything you wish to say before we depart?" she asked.

"Well, shit," Bro said, "These are my last words ain't they?"

He thought for a moment, then turned to Dave and said.

"Dave, I know you can't hear me, but," he sighed, removing his rad shades, "From one epic samurai rapper ninja to another, I'm proud of you. You ain't going to grow up to live alone with nothing but ill beats and phallic puppet shit to make art, which you know is fake, but everyone drools over in their ignorance, and you can only laugh quietly to yourself at them taking shit so seriously. You're a tried and true badass now, and if being stuck here don't make you crazy, I want you to go grab what ever comes at you by whatever alien reproductive junk they're got, and just fucking wale on them, K?"

Dave continued to nod his head to the beat.

"Stay cool little man," Bro said, replacing his shades, a single tear of clear salty sorrow escapes an eye.

"Alright, I've said all I gotta say, let's bounce," he said to the woman.

She turns to leave, gesturing that he follow. They pass the other occupants of the meteor, Bro notes the similarities of some of these guys to his guide.

They arrive outside, and Bro realizes that they're in a meteor flying through space. Not a bad place to conclude their tour, and not a bad place for his bro to be.

The scene shifts one final time. They stand in a void, a large green house made of a few squares and triangles stands before them. Bro cocks his head at it.

"The Sburb symbol, now mega fun sized. The hell is this?"

"This is what happens when you die," The woman says.

"So, no party in the afterlife then?" he asks.

"That is a different afterlife I'm afraid," She says.

Bro sighs and walks to the glowing green house that looks 2 dimensional.

"Thanks for showing me my life, it was fun to watch a sword go through me again," Bro said.

"Wait, one last thing," he asked, "I didn't get your name."

The woman only smiled, a gentle smile, "It's been lost to the ages, it doesn't really matter."

"Are you death's foxy handmaiden?" Bro asked, a smirk coming on.

The woman continued to smile, "Afraid not,"

"Well, it's been fun, thanks," Bro said, turning his back and waving over his shoulder. He walked up the steps to the monument, and opened the door. He looked inside as the white light showed on him. Bro smiled at what he saw, and entered.


	2. Be the Father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dad meets the psychopomp, there's his son, there's his mom, then there's silence.

“dad, look!” said the boy.

Mr. Egbert, or Dad to his son John, stood in the doorway of the kitchen.

His 11 year old son was proudly presenting him with a cake. It was sloppy, the left side had collapsed, and the kitchen was a mess, batter, eggs and crème littered the sink table, and floor. The cake had frosting haphazardly applied to it, and in blue icing, it was written:

Hupqy brThduy Dad.

Mr. Egbert could not have been prouder.

He pulled up a clean chair, got a plate and cut himself a slice, while John sat in anticipation.

“Delicious,” Dad said, and he put his hand through John’s hair.

John beamed, happy that his dad was enjoying it.

The cake wasn’t bad, there were no egg shells, the frosting wasn’t excessive, and the cake itself wasn’t burnt, it didn’t look like much, but it was a joy to eat.

“happy birthday dad!” John said.

“Thank you son, now for my present, we’re going to clean this place up,” Dad said.

John looked a little disappointed.

“After cake,” Dad said, cutting John a slice. 

John smiled again, and they both went back to eating.

After that, they went about cleaning the kitchen; Dad washed the dishes, while John mopped up.

Dad held up a spoon he was polishing, and he saw his reflection, as well as the person sitting in the living room.

He sighed, and put it down.

“This already happened, there’s no point in redoing it,” he said.

He went into the living room, past his treasured harlequins, and his mother’s urn.

The woman sat on the couch, legs crossed, smiling at him as if she expected something.

“He got me one of those old razors that looks like a pocket knife, if you’re wondering,” he said to the woman.

He sat down on the couch next to her. 

The room shifts, they watch as John hides behind the couch, giggling, as Mr. Egbert comes through the door. The door is slightly ajar, with a bucket of water above it.

Knowing this, Dad jerks the door, knocking the bucket off onto the floor, spilling its water. He then bursts through the door, taking a crème pie from his suitcase and removing the tinfoil on it.

John comes with his own, and hurls it at Dad. Dad dives forward, and hits the ground in a “Gentleman Roll” keeping the pie upright, and dodging John’s pie. He flings his pie at John nailing him in the face.

The Prankster meter swings over to Dad once more.

On the couch Dad watches as the memory plays by.

“John was always trying to out-prank me, but I learned from the best,” he cast a glance at the picture behind the urn and smiled.

“Hm?” The woman asked, she stared uncomfortably at the bucket lying on the ground, “Oh, yes, your practical jokes.”

The scene shifts again, they get up from the couch as it disappears, and they are at a café, a few blocks from Dad’s office.

Dad is sitting at a table, with another well-dressed gentleman, this one with a very impressive fedora.

“I’m just really worried about him,” Dad said to his friend.

“Are you sure this isn’t just a phase?” his friend asks.

“I sure hope it is,” Dad said.

“Maybe it has something to do with all those movies he watches?” his friend said.

“I don’t think so, I mean, watching those Nicholas Cage and Howie Mandel movies is a fun father-son activity, even if they aren’t that good, he always seems so happy doing it. What I don’t understand is how he’s acting. He’s the same, he’s still always happy, John hasn’t changed at all, but when I look at his walls, Jesus.” he said.

“Is it a cry for help?” his friend asked.

“He writes about how stupid he is, thank god he hasn’t started to cut himself, but I keep checking his arms just to be safe. I keep trying to tell him how much I love him, how proud of him I am, but I just don’t know how to tackle this head on.”

Dad sighs once again, and the scene fades away.

“I was really worried about John for a time there,” Dad said, “All that hate he wrote, I thought I was losing him.”

The scene comes back into focus, Dad’s leaving his office again, his friend following him.

The conversation is picked up upon.

“—just saying you should come on over, my wife can bring her friend, I think you two would get along great,” Dad’s friend said.

“I appreciate you two trying to play matchmaker and all, but I’m going to have to decline,” Dad said.

“Are you still all up in arms about that lady you met?” his friend asked.

Dad took out his wallet modus and deployed the scarf. 

“Of course I am,” Dad said, “You can call me a hopeless romantic-”

“You’re a hopeless romantic,” his friend interrupted.

“But I think I’ll meet her again.”

“You don’t even know her name,” his friend said, retrieving his fedora.

The two headed towards the elevator.

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” Dad asked.

“This is always the direction this conversation goes, bottom line is, the scientist lady’s gone, I doubt you’ll ever see her again,” his friend said.

“Maybe,” Dad said, returning the scarf to his sylladex.

“You need to meet people, not chase after some mysterious broad,” He put the hat on.

Little did the friend know that there was a fake panel in the hat, which hid a blob of shaving cream. Placing the hat on his head, pushed the panel through it, and it splattered on his head and trickled down his face.

Fedorafreak: :|

Dad: :)

“Don’t worry, it’ll wash out of your precious hat,” Dad said, laughing.

The real Dad smiled at this memory, “I wonder what happened to him when all this meteor stuff happened,” he asked his companion.

His companion only said, “His is another journey, and I will see to him later.”

The scene blends into itself and shifts once again.

When the scene reforms, they are in a Derse prison block, and the memory shows Dad beating his way through imps and Carapascians. 

The arcagent confronts him, and issues a silly but dangerous threat with his switchblade.

Dad decided to show him by setting his hat on fire, and stomping it out. The arcagent regards the hated garment, and allows the prisoner to go free.

“That was nice of him,” Dad had thought at the time.

The scene blends through again, shifting, this time Dad sees himself as a young boy.

He places a cake on the table, written on it was “Happy Birthday Mom” in Cyan, her favorite color.

They are in the house Dad grew up in, and it’s his mother’s Birthday. His mother now sits at the table, black hair in her trademarked cowlick style.

She stares at the cake, it looks tantalizing, and she’s taught her son well in the ways of baking, evil corporation or no.

She’s proud of him for taking her lessons to heart and making this delicious cake.

“Son, pass me my birthday card, I want you to read it to me, it’s from your father,”

Her son picked up the card and opened it, a flurry of motion flew out of it, like a moth, the son drops it and staggers back.

“Hee Haa Haa,” The woman laughs, as the son finds that the object in question was a contraption with a paper propeller wound up around a base, and kept in place by the closed card, upon its opening, it unwound and flew up. The card itself read

“You fell for it hook, line and sucker,”

\--love Mom.

The prankster meter swings into her favor as her son gets up. He sits down, grumbling to himself as she slices herself some cake.

“Got you good didn’t I?” she said.

He can’t meet her eyes, and she takes a bite of the cake, still smiling. She stops upon tasting it and spits it out.

“What is this?” she said, wiping her tongue with a napkin.

Her son meets her eyes, revealing the smile he had tried to hide, and he removes a small can of shaving cream he had hidden in his modus, the prankster meter slides over to his side.

“Gotcha good didn’t I?” he says.

“Shaving cream frosting, why I never,” she said, “You even hid the smell by using powdered sugar didn’t you?”

Her son nods, the grin never disappearing. 

“Well Shucks-buster, looks like we’ll need a new cake, go get one of the few we have frozen in the back,” she said.

He heads to the large top opening freezer in the other room, they bake so often that they keep the excess of goods frozen there.

When he opens the slightly ajar door, the bucket hidden atop it spills its contents onto him. He stood there drenched in water, and the prankster meter moves back to the center, and Dad’s guest blushes a bit at the spectacle.

“So it seems the student has not yet outdone the master,” she says. “But you one-upped me, and that’s probably the best birthday present I could get.”

“I’m so proud of you son,” she says patting him on his wet head on her way to get out one of their frozen cakes.

The memory dissolves, and Dad can only smile, his guest is happy to be rid of pails again.

The memory reforms. 

Dad has found the lovely scientist lady. They reunited on a large space battleship piloted by a kindly English gentleman. They share small talk, he tells her of the son he’s so proud of and she tells him of her daughter.

The gentleman drops them off, he almost sees his son again, but alas it is not meant to be as he disappears.

He and the scientist lady travel to the nearest castle, where they have a romantic lunch, catching up on dilemmas and past problems. She tells him a bit of her job and how Skaianet was waiting for this, he tells her of a life not nearly as impressive.

They share cake, wine, and stories.

The archagent returns, and the couple are no more.

Dad stares at his body, and that of his love’s. He sighs at the memory, but it keeps going.

He sees the woman’s daughter, skin grey and mouth speaking in tongues. The mother spoke often of her daughter’s morbid fascinations with interest rather than disdain. He sees John appear, he sees the two children fight his killer, and he sees them die.

He stares at his son, he almost cries, but his son pulls himself back-up, wounds healing, no worse for wear. He puts on his friends communicator, and kisses her body, his companion informs him that this is to resurrect her elsewhere.

John activates his power, and the scene dissolves. He catches a brief glimpse of his bloody hat being acquired by a blue ghost with his mother's face.

“And those were the highlights of your life,” his companion says.

“So there is no coming back for me is there?” he asks.

“In a manner of speaking yes, but that’s part of some grail of knowledge that I am nor privy to,” she tells him, “I’m afraid this is your stories conclusion.”

“Can I see John one last time?” he asks.

She nods and the scene changes to a golden hall onboard a flying battleship. Lizards, chess people and other creatures pass him, heedless to his presence. 

He walks the corridor until he reaches a room, John sits next to one of his friends, from his dialogue he realizes that it’s Jade. She looks odd in her black hood, it seems she has Dog-ears.

They seem to be playing a video game, he realizes that the blue ghost is also there, his mother has been resurrected, he half-heartedly turns to his companion asking if he can do the same, and she replies in the negative, and informs him that the trip they’re embarking on will take three years.

He turns to his mother, he hugs her but she can’t feel it.

“Mom, It’s been years, and I really missed you,” She begins to laugh as a lizard slips on a banana peel she’d strategically placed. “I see you haven’t lost your sense of humor.”

“Thanks mom for everything, for the cakes, the pranks, and for being there. Watch John now for me, okay?”

He kisses her on the cheek and goes to his son, who’s busy chatting it up with Jade.

“Son, I’ve said this so often that it’s lost all meaning, but I’m proud of you. When a father tells his son he’s going to do great things, I don’t know if he means that his son will save the universe. John when you get to wherever it is you’re going, I have every faith that you’ll succeed. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, and I know you’ll grow into a fine young man.”

He kisses his son on the forehead, and turns to leave.

He tells the companion that he’s done, and she nods. The room changes until they’re in a black expanse, the green Sburb sign providing the only light.

She gestures to it.

“So, this is life after death is it?” he asks her.

“Something like that yes,” she tells him.

He walks up to the house, and opens the door. He raises an eyebrow and turns to her.

“Is this real?” he asks.

“It’s different for everybody, but, yes, it is,” she says.

He examines the content behind the door, before closing it.

“I’m not ready,” he says.

“That’s okay,” she replies, “You will enter eventually, but only at your choosing. I can take you somewhere to rest for now.”

“Please,” he says.

The scene shifts once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I colored Dad and Fedorafreak's text black like on the Serious Business chat. I don't know if that's their real text, but I had to start somewhere.


	3. Be The Grandfather

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A voice beckoned gently now its time to go  
> A Requiem played as we begged for forgiveness  
> Don’t touch me I said, I’ve got unfinished business.
> 
> \- Unfinished Business

“Blast,” the elderly gentleman yelled. He stood, watching his body, slumped over on a table bleeding out.

Grandpa Harley had just been shot through a combination of his granddaughter and supernatural dog.

Judging from the way she was holding the pistol, he concluded that she almost shot herself and that Bec had teleported the bullet away.

“Well dammit Bec couldn’t you have teleported it somewhere that didn’t end with me dead?” he said.

“grandpa?” Jade asked, going to her grandpa.

His arm hung limply over the side of the table, and Jade grabbed and shook it.

“grandpa?” she asked again more urgently.

“I’m here Jade,” he said, trying to grab her, but she could not feel his touch.

Harley tried ceaselessly to make Jade notice him, as she began to cry trying to get his lifeless body to move.

“Sir, you’re dead, you can no longer interact with her,” said a voice.

He turned around, and saw a woman approach him from across the fields. She wore a green dress, and had grey skin. There were two protrusions on her head which were yellow and orange.

“And who exactly are you?” he asked, trying to grab a gun that he surely had on him

“No such luck,” he thought.

“I am to be your guide of sorts,” she said.

“Well, it was nice meeting a pretty thing like you, but I really must get back to my granddaughter,” he turned back to her and began trying to move her again.

“Sir, your time on earth has ended I’m afraid,” she said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Harley gripped her wrist, spun, and flipped her over, she landed in the field on her back, stunned.

“By Gum, my granddaughter is trapped on an island in the middle of nowhere, with a corpse for a guardian and no one to care for her, the hell if I’m just going to ascend out of here,”

He grabbed his corpse, and tried to jump into it. 

“Come on, I can do this, Frankenstein style,” 

When that failed, he looked to his blunderbuss. 

“Okay, screw Frankenstein style, we’re doing this Herbie the love bug style, he grabbed his gun and stared intently at it, unable to move it.

He shoved his head into the barrel, trying to enter it. 

His companion stood up, and smoothed her dress

“May I ask what you’re trying to do?”

“I’m trying to force my spirit to enter and possess this weapon, so I may give her guidance and wisdom from beyond the grave! I’ll be her Grandpa Gun,” he declared, trying to get his head into the barrel.

"Why?" The Guide asked.

"Because I saw it in a movie once!" The old man shouted.

He tried this for several more seconds, before giving up and declaring it stupid.

“Wait, her dream robot, of course!” He declared, slamming his fist into the palm of his hand.

“I’ll be a robotic version of her, and then give her wisdom and guidance from beyond the grave!” With this, he absconded to his home.

His companion turned toward him and said, “Sir you cannot interact with the living, period, while there are circumstances where this could work, you cannot-”

“I’m on my way to become a girl ghost robot and you can’t stop me,” he shouted over his shoulder.

She sighed, and shifted the scene. They now were in Jade’s room, Harley looked confused as to how this happened, but never the less, he grabbed at Jade’s dreambot and tried to possess it. After trying this for five minutes, he gave up his goal of haunting technology and slumped onto her bed.

“God Dammit!” he shouted.

His guide stood patiently to the side, and said, “Sir a period of transition is upon you. You need to shed your old life to move on.”

“Lady, I’ve fought monsters, and ogres, and creatures scarier than you. I have the most confirmed butterfly kills of any man on this planet. One time I got drunk and fought beasts with my imagination, there is no way in hell I’m going to give up now,” he said.

With that Harley began to think and pace he must find a course of action, at once.

“You’ve lived an impressive life, but like all lives it comes to an end, “ she said, “you need to accept it.”

Harley ignored her, so she caused the area around them to shift, and suddenly they were in a different place, in a yard in fact. 

The woman gestured to two children playing in the grass with a dog, and Harley turned to them.

The dog, Halley, or Harley as he was mistakenly called, tackled the girl and began licking her face. She laughed as her brother pulled him off her.

“This is you and your ‘sister,’ happier times it seems,” the woman said.

“Now there Harley, get offa her,” the boy said.

The dog barked in response.

The girl laughed, “Oh come on, it’s fine.”

The girl picked up a stick and tossed it, Halley sped after it.

Grandpa stopped his musings and turned to his younger self, smiling as Halley brought the stick back to her and she tossed it to him. They tossed it back and forth, having Halley run between them, in a vain attempt to tire him out.

Harley looked at the child that was his sister but his smile soured when they were called in by their “mother.” 

Betty Crocker ordered her children to come inside, and they sulked in. Harley’s companion looked at their guardian with wide eyes.

“That’s your mother?” she said.

“Of course,” Harley looked at the woman, she was young looking, and had a powder white face, no doubt from an excess of makeup. She always had her head covered, for reasons that Harley never cared about, but his sister would find out why later.

The scene dissolves, and reforms. 

Harley is a young man in Africa, hunting a tiger. The beast stalks him, little knowing of what the young man is thinking, unaware that he knows the beasts location.

It lunges, and Harley spins to confront it, holding up two pistols.

Cawing and gunfire ensues, and a cut and bloody Harley emerges triumphant.

“Is there some symbolic meaning behind this?” the man asks, looking at his younger self.

“Perhaps,” she states.

“I want to see Jade again,” he states.

Jade is a little girl smiling and sitting up in bed, Harley sits next to her, stroking her hair.

“please grandpa?” she asks, smiling

“Alright, one more story,” the old man says.

Bec is lying in the corner, loyal dog he is.

Grandpa Harley tells her her favorite story, Little Red Riding Hood, and he tells his version, the one she likes.

“Once Upon a time there was a girl with long dark hair who always wore a red hoodie. She was a nice little girl, going off to her Grandfather’s house with assorted baked goods.”

Jade smiled at this.

“She skipped through the forest, but ran into a wolf. The Wolf smelled her Assorted Baked Goods, and schemed to take them from her. When he found out where she was going, he pointed her in a different and longer route, and she went down it. With this done, he ran to her grandfather’s house, knowing to eat him, and then ambush the little girl.” 

Jade gasped.

“So then the wolf got to the grandfather’s house and snuck inside, hoping to catch the old man by surprise. But no sooner did he enter, then the old man Ambushed him!"

“Hiyah said the old man as he brought a karate chop down on the Wolf’s head,” he mimicked the movement to Jade’s delight “The old man knew to aim at the soft spot of the Wolf’s skull for maximum damage.”

“The wolf was wounded, and he rounded on the old man angrily. But the wolf didn’t know that the grandpa was trained in deadly hand to hand combat, and several different martial arts. The Wolf pounced, and the old man countered with a ribs shattering punch, beating it down. The wolf charged again, but the man’s loyal dog emerged, and bit down on the wolf’s thigh!” 

Jade’s smiling and clapping her hands.

“With this distraction, the man lunged, and went to town on the evil wolf, beating it up. He had the creature in a head lock when little red riding hood showed up.”

“The old man is distracted by his granddaughter, so the wolf wiggles out of his old and throws him to the ground.”

Jade gasps again.

“But luckily, the little girl keeps a loaded double barreled shot-gun in her bag of Assorted Baked Goods, and she blows the wolf away!”

“Yay,” Jade says, clapping her hands again.

He tucks her into bed and wishes her sweet dreams as she goes to sleep, he kisses her forehead, and she laughs at the feel of his mustache. Her robot emerges from the closet. He reiterates his wish for her to have sweet dreams, and not to fly in the house, as he doesn’t want the curtains to go on fire again.

Harley sighs at the memory and asks,

“Can I see how she’s doing now?”

She changes the scene again, now it draws from Jade’s memories rather than his own. 

She is currently hunting for frogs in a black/green evening dress.

Grandpa Harley smiles at this Jade’s doing well without him, and the scene changes again, to a nightmare she had. A beast with many eyes, mouths and tentacles stares at her, Grandpa Harley stares back, in awe.

Jade wakes up, but he and his guest still stare at it.

“The hell is this?” he asked.

As if in response, the eyes focus on them.

“This isn’t good, it’s noticed us,” the guide said, nervously, “We need to leave now, before-”

The beast tires of their presence, and uses its power to send them tumbling through space time.

He is separated from his guide, and thrown about the narrative.

His guide is blasted back, her own memories over taking her.

Grandpa Harley lands in a city. A portly Ace Detective, lifts up his shirt and jiggles his fat, pulling off a dangerous truffle shuffle attack. However, the old man has dealt with this move before, and counters by kicking the Ace Detective in the face. 

Thus he realizes that he can interact with things again, and steals the KEYS that Ace Dick is holding.

He must find a way to get to Jade before – 

A blinding flash takes him away from this odd universe.

His guide finds herself in a memory she’d many times hoped to forget. She’s in a dark room, a prisoner here.

She struggles to the door, and begins banging on it, begging the memory to end, before her captor enters. The door opens, and the face that appears is one she’s come to detest and fear.

She screams then, her composure shattered, and her encounter continues as it did.

Grandpa Harley finds himself on an island, it’s very similar to his own, except there are massive alien beasts on it.

He turns to see a boy running through it, firing dual handguns at some crab like monstrosity.

“Boy, you there boy, stop this scurrying about at once and tell me where I am,” he says to the boy.

The boy doesn’t listen, and when Harley goes to touch him, he realizes that the boy can’t feel him. Grandpa Harley is still a ghost here.

The boy pulls of a conventional Youth Roll to evade the corpse of the crab monster he’s slain.

“Those are some impressive moves boy, even more impressive is your interest in wearing shorts that short,” Grandpa Harley says to the boy, noticing his pants.

Harley sighed, he’d hope that his meeting with the fat detective had shown that the monster made him live again, but no such luck.

“Darn and blast,” he swore, before the energy accumulated and teleported him away.

He appeared in front of the guide and another woman. He recognized her, as he’d given her and another gentleman a ride on his battleship. Both turned to him, surprise evident, and he was teleported away before he could say anything.

=> Teleport back to the guide.

Grandpa Harley had a sudden urge to return to his guide, and the next teleportation returned him to her.

She shook her head to clear it of the memories she’d just re-experienced.

“Look sir, your efforts to reunite with your daughter are admirable, but you must accept that you are dead,” she said to him.

“Never, I am not letting Jade die again,” he said defiantly.

=> Decide to stay dead

Grandpa Harley decided to stay dead, 

“Wait, what?” Harley said.

“What is it?” the guide asked.

“There’s a voice in my head that told me to stay dead,” he said, confused.

“Perhaps you should listen to it,” she said.

=> Do a silly dance

Grandpa Harley successfully resisted the urge to do a silly dance.

“I think it’s an after effect of what that horrorterror did, you need only ignore it and I’m sure it will go away,” she said.

“How come it could see us?” he asked.

“They have power beyond any I’ve seen, they occupy a reality where space and time fluctuate erratically, they do as they please,” she said.

=> Use KEYS to convince Guide to make you come back to life.

Grandpa Harley took out the CHAINGUN and pointed it at the guide, demanding she return him to life. She tells him that she cannot, and shooting her does not seem to work.

“Damnation,” he yelled throwing down the now useless gun.

“Sir, Please,” the guide shouted, “Sir, I know it’s hard, I know you’re trying, and I know you want to see your grandchild again, but you simply cannot. You are dead, your life has come to its end, and you have to let go. Sir, I’ve met dozens of people going on trips to the afterlife, and even at their most difficult, they all accepted the loss in the end. Please understand, I am not trying to keep you here. I have no control over your demise, but I am here to help you make your peace."

Harley just glared at her as the scene changed.

Suddenly, three gentlemen approach them, one large Red and meaty, one rotted and grey, and the final one the man Harley kicked in the face.

All three lift up their shirts.

“Oh no,” Grandpa Harley whispered, knowing full well what they were about to do.

All three initiated a highly dangerous TRIPLE TRUFFLE SHUFFLE SCUFFLE.

Their attack inflicts devastating damaged on Harley and his guest. Harley dropped the KEYS and they were blasted away.

They tumbled through an ever shifting and blurring scene until the guide righted herself and shifted everything into focus.

The devastating assault stopped whatever it was the Horrorterror did to them.

The guide shifts the scene to Jade, now a young teenager, slowly looking for frogs on a planet in a far off world.

The guide gestures to Jade, happily looking for frogs, as a friend in some shades goes about assisting her.

“Your daughter is alright, her dog got her to maturity safe and sound,” she said.

“So Bec came through,” Harley said.

Jade was chatting to her friend as they gathered frogs for some machine.

Harley watched as some black dog headed monstrosity descended on them and attacked, it would not attack her for some reason, as she shot at him.

Harley nodded in approval at Jade’s choice of weapon. He was mildly disturbed when the monster directed her bullets into her friend, and even more disturbed when she kissed his corpse, though his guide informed him of the purpose.

After that, she seemed to regard the monster less, treating him like a dog. Harley would have bitten his nails if it wasn’t the gentlemanly thing to do, but she seemed at ease with the creature.

It wouldn’t attack her for some reason, almost as if it-

“Oh my god, that’s not Bec is it?” he asked the guide.

“It’s complicated how he came to be, but I can assure you that is not your dog, in fact your dog is the reason why he won’t attack her,” she said.

“And where is Bec now?” he asked.

“That is complicated to explain as well,” she said.

Before he could say anything else, the scene shifts to the two of them on top a tower, with Jade examining some object falling towards them.

Grandpa Harley gasped, not only was it a bomb, but it was rigged to… shaving cream.

Any self respecting man with a moustache as fine as his knew the dangers of shaving cream, it was too flammable to be left to small children.

“Jade move!” He shouts.

She continues to stare at it, questioning what she sees.

“Jade, move dammit, run away, Jade!” He continues to shout and tries, once again, to grab her and yank her out of the way.

“Jade, please,” he said, quieter now, as the package makes its final descent and explodes.

Harley stands there, looking at his granddaughter’s corpse, once more.

Harley simply stares at the body at his feet. 

“She’s dead, again,” he said in a monotone, “Take me somewhere else, not a memory, just somewhere without death.”

The scene shifts again.

They stand in a room, a desk stands between three chairs where three men are currently about to play Hungry-hungry hippos. Harley can only recognize one, a gentleman with a distinct nose who he once gave a lift to in the Medium. The other is a very large thuggish looking man, and the final one is a skeleton like figure in a black cloak.

“I could not take you to a place without death,” the guide says, “I can only show you scenes to help you cope with your loss and move on. If you do not wish to see them, you may wait here.”

The figure in the black cloak, Death, for certainly he can be no other, beckons for you to sit down.

“What?” Harley asks.

Death reveals to you that they are playing Hungry-Hungry Hippos, he, along with Mr. Egbert and Mobster Kingpin chose this game fully expecting a fourth player.

“Stop talking like that,” Harley said, annoyed.

Death is confused as to your reaction to him. He is pleased that the guide has brought you here, and he does confirm the idea that she is not his foxy handmaid, such a handmaid does not exist.

“For Chrissakes, stop talking in the second person, it’s really rubbing me sour,”

Death apologizes for this change of tone to you. He really is sorry, but that is simply how they speak in this plane of reality. The fellow to his left, Mobster Kingpin, demands to know if you gotta problem with that? You inform him that you do not, but in a way that indicates if you did, you’d take him on.

You kindly inform Death that you do not wish to play a game with him. He says oh and puts the game away, MK and Mr. Egbert seem dismayed at this. He takes the game of Battleship out and hands it to the two while he goes up to “talk” to you.

Mr. Egbert and MK go about playing the game, MK is the aliens who are totally not a rip off of Transformers, and Egbert is the humans. Mr. Egbert believes that his son’s fondness for movies of this quality would endear him to this experience, as he has his Rihanna piece fire a shot off.

Death goes over to you, the guide informs him of all your “shenanigans,” and Death responds neutrally. Death asks you to walk with him, and tells the guide to go watch the two men play their board game (the rising Sun has given Mr. Egbert the advantage).

Death informs you that he is familiar with your situation. You question this and he responds in the affirmative. Death tells you that part of the reason that he hired the guide is to handle situations like this, they make his job harder and provide plenty of stress. Her demeanor with the souls does help. He informs you that his job as psychopomp isn’t an easy nor rewarding job, and taking on help, like her, really helps. Yes, that sentence is as dumb as it sounds, he informs you, showing that he did not misspeak.

You ask death if you can be brought back. Death responds in the negative, but he informs you that Jade will meet you again, somehow, and not through his realm. When you ask him to elaborate he refuses to.

He tells you, with finality that only he can give, that you are not only dead, you are done, done with the mortal plane and all of its toils and triumphs. You return to the game, the large man, MK, has just won, defeating Mr. Egbert’s Liam Neeson cameo.

You inquire as to why they stay here. MK informs you that he has no desire to move on, while Mr. Egbert isn’t ready just yet. You ask him if he’s waiting for the lady that was with him when you gave him a lift. He smiles and says yes. He chats to you a bit about their adventures and untimely death. He tells you of the son he’s lost, and you tell him of the granddaughter you wish to see. 

You are surprised to know of his parentage, this gentleman seems to be your non related nephew, or something, your own parentage confuses you.

Death informs the guide to show you a final scene from your granddaughter’s life.

She nods and takes your arm, leaving the limbo realm. Once again, the scene shifts.

Harley looked around, they were on a golden battleship, and several odd creatures bustle around them.

“Where are we?” he asks.

“Your daughter’s current whereabouts,” she says.

“Thank god we’ve finished that second person gab,” he says.

“It is something one needs to get used to,” she says.

She points him to Jade, talking to a boy who’s orange and has wings.

She grins at him, and he gives her a subdued smile.

She kisses him on the cheek and they go their separate ways.  
Harley notices her Dog-ears

“Would it take too long to explain her ears?” he asks the woman.

She nods the affirmative.

He walks behind his granddaughter as she heads to her room.

“God, damn this is a nice ship,” he said, as she rounded the corner.

Jade went to her room, and climbed into bead, choosing to sleep in her black PJ-esque robes.

Harley sat down on the bed next to her, and put his hand on her head. He strokes her hair, much longer now, and says.

“Jade, I know you can’t hear me anymore, but you know I love you. You grew up into a fine young lady, and I’m sorry I missed it. I know Bec did just fine.”

Harley continued to sit next to her, silently stroking her hair.

“Jade, I have to go now, but I want you to know that your Grandpa is proud of you.” He cast a glance at her ears, “And I’m sure Bec is still watching over you.”

He then stood and walked toward the Guide.

She nodded and the scene shifted.

They stood in front of a massive glowing house symbol.

“Sburb, that blasted game.” Grandpa muttered.

The door opened, light poured out, and the guide pointed toward it.

“This is the last stop isn’t it?” He asked.

“I’m afraid so.” She said.

“Well, okay, I’m sorry for shooting you, and assaulting you, and screwing this whole escorting to the afterlife up.” He said.

“Oh it’s alright,” The Guide said, “Transition is hard, and I’ve felt worse.”

Harley extended his hand, and she shook it. 

“Thank you for letting me see Jade again.”

He then ascended the few stairs into the door, and stepped through the light into what was beyond it.

The Guide stood there as the door closed, and the scene shifted once again.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Fanfiction.net


End file.
